Well, here goes! I set this blog up in March and have obviously done very little with it. Now is the time. Today is the day.
But where to start? Where, indeed?
How about with the concept of time...timing...God's timing?
The past few months have been absolutely AMAZING. God has been working in my life. I know that He has changed my character more in the past six months than ever before. In Philippians 2:12, Paul instructs the believers, "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." With God's help, I have been endeavoring to do just that...to learn what it really means to be "saved"--how that should affect every choice I make, every word I speak, every relationship I pursue. I am also learning more about surrender and about the responsibility that I have to be salt in the world (Colossians 4:6).
God has allowed me to learn so much about myself...about who I am now and who He wants me to be as His child--and as a godly woman. He has revealed truth to me just at the point where I am capable of accepting what He wants to teach me. It is so AWESOME!
A few months ago, a prospective singles pastor asked us what our "holy discontent" was--the one thing that just ate us up inside from a spiritual perspective. I realized that my holy discontent is the fact that the church does not do all it should to raise up godly men--men who are strong Christian leaders. Over the last few months, God has shown me adjustments and changes that I need to make in my life in order to support the Christian men that I come into contact with...I may not be able to instruct them in leadership, but I can step back and allow them opportunities to lead, cheering them on all the while.
I have also come to realize that art is a very vital part of who I am. I don't think I ever really realized that...pursuit of art, of beauty, seemed like it was frivolous--a poor investment of my time. But my talent, my desire, is God-given; I don't think I ever allowed myself to accept that before. Isn't that amazing? None of our talents or abilities are accidental! In many ways, creating art is a form of worship for me and is a vital component of my spiritual well-being. And if it's that for me, if that's what I'm pouring into it, then I'm realizing that God may just use my work to pour out something similar into others. That just rocks my world!
And do you know what else I'm learning? That I don't need to be afraid to allow others to see exactly who I am. God made me. I am in HIS image. If I'm quirky and goofy and sometimes fail to be completely ladylike in my comportment--well, that's okay! I know for a fact that God has a sense of humor. (If you don't believe me, just look around! Have you SEEN a hippo? Do you know that He put little landing strips on flowers so the bees know where to go? Have you heard a duck quack?) He wants us to enjoy life, to laugh, to dance around and sing at the top of our voices (if you don't believe that, read a few Psalms). Why should I be afraid to be the person He made me to be?
Which leads me to my favorite verse...the one that has been ever-present in my heart since the night I came across it 5 1/2 years ago as I sat outside on a dark Honduras night, facing a year in a foreign country--a country that I loved dearly, but had never visited for longer than a week at a time. In 2 Timothy 1:7, Paul writes to Timothy, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." How wonderful is THAT? Fear of the unknown is not, and never will be, of God. God wants me to be filled--to be being filled--with His Spirit, which is characterized by power, love and peace of mind. Hallelujah!
